Uncertain of what you really want

3 Clever ways to discover what you really want

If we’re really being honest with ourselves, we do in fact know what we want – even when it doesn’t feel like it.

The phrase “I don’t know what I want” comes out of your mouth more times than you can bare. An energy of hysteria and confusion makes you feel boxed in, lost, and unclear as to what they next step should be.

The bug often comes from not wanting to accept the truth or being so obscured by a mosh posh of “stuff” that it becomes hard to see. Our stuff often takes the shape of mental cloudiness; ill feeling states such as obligations, stress, inner conflict, doubt, and fear. These feelings clog our ability to flow with the light that wishes to shine; the light that is the truth. 

Despite feeling overwhelmed by all the clutter, the truth of what you really want is always there. It’s just that those not-so-good feeling emotions and the truth cannot co-exist with one another. In order to see the truth, the clutter must be stripped away.

So, how do we do that? How do we eliminate the chaos that is in our minds and bodies so that we can clear the way for the truth – for what we really want.

“Your brain shuts down when you say, I don’t know. It’s like the elevator doors just closed leaving you behind, wondering when the doors will open again.”

Time and time again of dips and peaks and being confused about so much, I started to notice a pattern. As shitty as I felt at the crossroads of something, of some decision I needed to make, deep down I felt a knowing. It was like I instinctively knew that I already had the answers to the questions I was asking. But, repeating “I don’t know” at the end of every sentence didn’t help. As soon as I said that phrase, my mind came to a dead stop.

So, it got me thinking. Clearly, I’ve overcome many situations I once said “I don’t know” to. So, what changed? What made the difference? How did I separate the lie from the truth?

Pay attention to the whispers

Ever so subtly or loudly, feelings, circumstances, and physical reactions occur consciously or unconsciously. A heavy sigh to a specific thought, a slight upset in your stomach when you outweigh the pros and cons of a decision, or a second of pause before you give an answer. These are all tells. Tell tale signs of the truth reacting through you. You probably end up beating yourself up about why it is you’re having these feelings. Especially if they’re contrary to the decision you think should be the right one for you. The whispers are there to help us see. To help us avoid being dishonest and not betray ourselves. Don’t shy away from the whispers. Dig deeper. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way? What am I to learn from this?” and go from there. What you discover will alter the course of your journey – and that’s a fact.     


Yes, just ask yourself…” What do I really want?” To help the stream of ideas flow, ask a more thought-provoking statement like “Wouldn’t it be really cool if…” or “If I could do, be or have anything, I would totally…” And you know am an avid believer in writing things down, so definitely do that. Writing it down helps carry the feeling. In the seconds of writing, you may even be more aware of how you’re feeling. Sad? Angry? Excited? Pumped? Nervous? Jealous? It doesn’t matter. Don’t judge yourself for your honesty. Repeat this out pour of how you really feel for several days at a time over the course of a week or even a month. At the end of the week or month, evaluate your writings and pick out the most recurring phrases and words. Herein too lies the truth.   

Get happy

When we’re happy, excited, feel joyous and outright high on life, we feel unstoppable. The highest of highs where anything is achievable. This peak feels magical, blissful, and so very beautiful. With a new pair of specs on, we see beauty in people, places, things, and ourselves. Joy is light and, in the light, the path is clear. The slate is clean and we see more clearly than ever the truth that is. In this positive state, with the rush of oxygen flowing zealously through our body, a door opens – and we awaken to what really is. 

  • Do you apply any one or all three of these tools to help you uncover what it is you really want?
  • How do ‘whispers’ show up in your life?
  • Any other useful tips for getting over the “I don’t know what I want” hump?

On pins and needles waiting to hear from you, my dear. Find this useful? Do share this gift with a friend.

And as always…

Much, much love,


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Stop wishing, start manifesting!

Turn your deepest desires into reality.